Membership verses Conversion 6/27/13

In this weeks reading discussion class we read Escobar and another author. According to Escobar there has been an unfair "black legend" about the Catholic church amongst those that classify themselves as Protestants. I have been exposed to that "black legend" and if I were to admit it I had a strong biases against the Catholic church. If I am to be 100% transparent I still do however not as strong and the biases is more of a concern.

Now those that are Catholic or are easily offended about self righteous Christians, PAUSE, BREATH and continue reading so you can understand what I am talking about.

I have a deep concern for any religious group that considers themselves to be Christian and in fact does not seek to understand the person or the characteristic of Jesus the Christ. Based on what I have been told by many people who were Catholic, they stated that they were Catholic because it was a family religion, or they were it by default due to their culture. They shared that it was filled with holidays, rituals, actions but experienced no personal connection with the Trinity, not really understanding the Bible, and not experiencing any transformation. I am VERY aware similar attributes can be used when describing other religious groups under the Christian umbrella and with those groups I feel the same.To be fair there is a new generation of Catholics that are serious about their faith and has been more geared on bible studies, youth groups, discipleship and learning about Christ.

 I begin to wonder if those that proclaim Christianity as a whole has fallen into traditions, rituals, and building up membership and not focusing on real conversion of an individual to Christ. I still become nervous and a little annoyed when people boast about the amount of people they have dunked in the water (baptism). I truly believe that baptism is essential, however it seems that some people have forgot the part of really believing (of having faith) and being baptized (Acts 2:38). It seems that we are more excited about increased membership and not putting enough information into retaining those new members and their understanding of what it means to follow Christ. I understand the purpose of explaining salvation into steps however has the steps become more about membership criteria and not the circumcision of peoples hearts?

The question we had in our reading discussion was: What are we converting people to?

• power                                     benefit
• family                                      change or
• experience                               Jesus/Truth
• institutional structure

People will have their reasons for coming "to Christ" regardless on how you share Christ with them, and that is understandable however, that should not stop our investment in reconciling them back to Christ. The point is the language of membership, it is a call to the masses to follow Christ; which is a calling to people to live a disciplined holistic life, to be disciples.

One pressure that missionaries may feel and also some congregations, is the wanting to produce more Christians. It is the case of quantity over quality. Is it more important to baptize 40 people per month and they not live a Christ centered life but come to EVERY single church function? or Baptize 4 converts that has made the decision to dedicate their lives, ( "dedicated disciples" as Greg states), entirely to the mission Christ commenced when he came to this Earth? The answer is seen by the language churches utilize and the way they function. Greg emphasized that among their group worked to socially be in touch with the people they plan to minister to. The team made the decision to not live in a gated community instead live among the people they want to minister to. In one of the readings the term "conosis" was used which is a Greek word that describes the process of emptying oneself the way Jesus did. I would say that the team aims to be this way.

This is why it is important to contextualize the gospel, socially, economically, and religiously. The gospel should be incarnational (not an outside analysis that can create blind-spots), but from a place of identification and solidarity from the inside. So when the word of God is brought to a particular demographic the gospel is contextualized from an informed position. Another important point that Greg shared was that not only is it important to know where you are but also to realize where you come from and how it affects your worldview. Basically, allowing yourself to let go of privileged notions and realize things about yourself to relate to those you want to work with. This lesson was a perfect way to prepare the interns for home stay. 

Home-stay is the opportunity where the interns get to stay 3 days and 3 nights with one of the church members. This could be an imposition for some church members however it shows the wonderful spirit of hospitality that was extended to each of us.This opportunity will allow for us to spend personal time with church members as well as seeing the way they live. 

Writing this journal entry so late I can say that spending time with that family was fulfilling and more than I can pay for. It is a humbling experience to have someone that you barely know give up their personal space for your comfort. My experience allowed for me to experience the love Christ among fellow sisters in Christ. 

Working w/Others 6/26/13

If one were to ask another how I work/interact with people, depending on where they are from, their personal temperament and other factors, you would most likely get a variety of responses that will sound like the following: she is difficult to get along with, I do not understand her, she seems mean, Gerina is very honest, she is great at pushing one to be their best, I adore her, when you get a chance to know her heart, everything else makes sense. Although I know that I can be difficult to be around for some there is not much I have changed about who I am because the things that makes certain people uncomfortable are not really my issues it is there's. However the things I can control that I recognize as a problem I attempt to change.

One of the things is taking charge of situations and dominating which is easy because I have a strong personality. On this trip I have recognized strong personalities, insecurities and sensitivities so I told myself to put manager Gerina to bed and relax and go with the flow...well that can only last for a few weeks and that it did. Going along with the flow all the time to avoid tensions and hurt feelings will cause exactly that because when people make decisions that are not the best I get very annoyed and hyper critical which makes me a not so nice a person.

Therefore I prefer to work and do particular things alone (however that is not wise in this context nor in ministry). So what should I do? Compromise, and I am a fan of the theory of compromise however that does not always work. I realize that I am only good at working in groups when each person has their own thing to work on that assists to paint a larger picture. Or if I work alongside a person that is very logical, has a steady temperament and is very competent in their skills. This is important to me because these type of people I can trust and respect.

This trip is assisting me in realizing more things about myself which is important so when I am working alongside people I know what to adjust and what to share about how I work. On the Myers-Briggs Assessment I score as a Field Marshall and Producer a person that delegates and oversees. This trait of mine is considered masculine and manifests in other ways that causes tension with males especially in romantic relationships. In relationships it is important that mates are partners and work with one another. I am learning that I need a partner that is confident (not arrogant), intelligent, compassionate, understanding, logical and even tempered. A man that is not offended by my "me-ness".

I realize that I am speaking of relationships and that was not my point of this entry...oh well I am at that age.

Spanish and New Converts 6/21/13

Today I saw a quote that was posted by a friend "I am a perfectionist with a procrastination complex." When I read that quote it resonated with me because I know I can be a perfectionist and sometimes perfectionism takes a lot of work and time I then avoid it thus me becoming a procrastinator. Another aspect is that if I do not get things the way I want or it does not turn out the way I wish it to I then become apathetic. Would I then be an apatheticist? (lol I know this is not a real word.)

Any who when it comes to my learning of Spanish I am not able to get things right nor am I picking up on the language as quick as I think I should. It also does not help when I feel that I am getting mixed signals. Verbally I hear, "Learning a new language is like a baby learning how to speak, it takes time." However I receive through actions "You should be getting this quicker now." Due to the mixed signals I perceive to be receiving I push myself to a limit, get frustrated when it does not seem that there is much improvement and then become apathetic. #Pride #FearofFailure

As I reflect on these feelings I think about how I interact with those that are learning English or where English is not there first language and are still struggling. I would say that I am pretty patient however I will be more aware of the signals I send because the slightest hint of frustration or impatience can be very discouraging to people. I believe this same practice can be applied to new babes (converts) to Christ. As older or more seasoned Christians, we should be patient and not expect a 180 in a new convert from when they are baptized to a year.

Now do not get me wrong I know there should be some significant changes and attempts to purge from bad habits however it takes time and it is difficult. More than anything we should be supportive, encouraging and available to new converts. There are too many times when "church people" (which are different from Christians, but that's another post) have unrealistic expectations and push new converts to be a certain way. From what I have seen, heard this causes new converts to put on a good show while at church but they are suffering and more lost than ever because they want to share their struggles with people they can confide in but are afraid of being ostracized or being a disappointment. Therefore they play the Christian role at church but their lives are a mess and others that are not Christians see this dual lifestyle and think "what's the point?"

In conclusion, whether we are dealing with new babes in Christ, people learning a new language, culture or we are the ones that are learning there should be an amount of patience, forgiveness, grace, empathy and respect to get through the process. My Spanish experience related to new converts is quite a stretch but now as I am re-reflecting it helps me remember what I have learned and how I can apply that to different facets of my life.

Reflection on Culture in my own Context 6/17/13

In culture class this particular Tuesday we discussed the importance of understanding culture, your culture and others within the context of missionary work. I began thinking about how there seems to be so much more effort and research done when it comes to cultural intelligence. Researchers and scholars from the US sees the importance and the energy that is needed when interacting with other cultures from other countries. However I see a lack of concern and energy when it comes to the understanding the variety of cultures that is within the USA. I find all too much that different cultures that are living in certain parts of the US try so hard to assimilate to the "dominant culture" without the general dominant culture attempting to understand, and live life with those that are different. It seems that the idea of missionary work is only when people from the US goes and helps poor people in need in other parts of the world. However, missionary work can be done anywhere and the same sensitivity should be applied.

I remember reading a missionary book and one of the statements that was made was if you have not been a part of doing missionary work where you live then you should reconsider doing missionary work or ask the question that I have asked myself and others, "Why is it easier to go to other places where the culture and the language is almost the complete opposite of yours and immerse onseself in that culture but when it comes with working within ones larger culture and working within the subcultures of that, there are excuses made? Is a possible answer that  there is a potential fear of feeling guilty and taking on a higher sense of duty? Or it can be not wanting to sacrifice the sense of comfort in their own lives. Imagine having to restructure or changing ones perspective/personal viewpoint about how  they see themselves and the world they live in; it can be scary because with knowledge and building relationships comes expectation and action.

There is such thing as being called to do traditional missions work in another country, and that should be taken very seriously however that does not mean that as Christians living where ever you live are off the hook for being a local missionary. There has been research on people that has a sincere passion for assisting those that lack resources, suffer injustice and oppression. The commonality is that most of these people come from lower middle and working class backgrounds and are mostly African Americans and Hispanic Americans.Now there are some Hispanic Americans and African Americans that are very successful that has no interest with "giving back" or rebuilding the communities that were not as fortunate as them.

WEB DeBois, who was an African American sociologist, historian, civil rights activist, Pan-Africanist, graduate from Harvard, author and editor,wrote about the "Talented Tenth" among African Americans. The talented tenth as I remember it, is that "the Best of the Black ethnicity may guide the Mass away from the contamination and death of the Worst, in their own and other races." In class there was also a discussion of collectivist societies, that with progression they begin to take on individualistic characteristics. I see this in the Black community after the 1920's especially once integration took place instead of the "best" pulling up those that were in the worst conditions you saw a divide. A division between the haves and the have not.

I must admit that I suffered and still suffer from wanting be viewed as separate from negative stereotypes. Now it is not that it is a problem from being raised to a way that does not fit with negative stereotypes or other stereotypes that is seen to be attached to the color of my skin. However it becomes a problem when it becomes extreme and manifests itself  as condescending. I realized how bad my attitude was when I listened to white Texans talk about other ethnic groups and my own and realized how ugly and ignorant my thoughts were. The core of my being is not evil however my fear of being undervalued and lumped in with certain groups had me sounding like those that were ignorant and/or racist.

I constantly thank God for having real friends that will point out some of my unsavory characteristic traits. In this context, my friends Masci and Stefanie have pointed out things that I say or do that contradicts with who I should be as a Christian, the heart I have for people, and an example to others. Although I do not say these things in public settings it is the fact that I am saying it.  It is very important to be self aware and I am working on that part of me. I am not as bad as I used to be however there is always room for improvement especially, since I have a passion to work with inner city youth. A part of my effectiveness is based on how I work on myself. 

To close out my reflection on culture I will say that missionary work does not only mean someone that goes to another country into another culture to share Christ and assist in other efforts but it also a duty and responsibility that is shared by the body of Christ to be a missionary where they are currently living and take the time to get to build sincere relationships and understand the culture of those you minister to. Keep it real, be honest with yourself and in result you will be able to be honest with others.

Sunday 6/15/13

Today was celebration Sunday. Celebration Sunday is when most or all of the house congregations gather together and celebrate the wonderfulness of God. Due to Celebration Sunday falling on Father's Day and that there are members that live really far from where the meeting was, there were more Americans present than Peruvians. The similarities of these house congregations gathering together to worship like how we do in the states is a lot of singing, there is praying, scripture reading, and communion. The differences is that the following three things are integrated into worship service such as: children's worship service, lunch and sharing with the group what the Lord's Supper mean to them. It had a family feel to the service which I very much appreciated.

Later that Sunday night Megan suggested we began a group devotional/share time with those that lived in the McKinzie's household. Without sharing what was shared I appreciated how seemingly appropriate and sincere Greg and Megan were when they shared. I was especially surprised that Greg shared as much given his disposition that is obviously misunderstood. Greg does not do or say things just to say them (which I appreciate because you can almost always trust that he means what he says and does). The missionaries appear to be aware and be caring of the members in their church group.

Greg and Megan shared the frustration they feel at times based on their concern with the decisions their members make. They also shared the lessons they have learned and are learning as they continue to grow and live in Peru. I found share time to be insightful as well as free flowing because although each person shared it still was conversational and intentional. After this particular Sunday night there will be devo's added to share night and it will focus on the book of 1 Peter. Sunday nights may become very interesting....

Explanation about the Blog

Late Entries

The next few entries will all be from the entries I have written in my journal. I have kept up with reflecting and  documenting the things I have done and the thoughts that have followed along with those experiences. However, I have not yet sat down to transfer the thoughts I had written down on the blog that would be appropriate for a public form.

Therefore what I am writing may sound as if it is in present tense or may fluctuate from pass to present. Please forgive me.

Lean on Me- Sisterly Love

Another journal entry that was written on Saturday, June 15th:

Saturday morning I met up with an LTGroup that consisted of: Megan, Emillia, and Areli. They read and discussed Marcos 1:1-15. There were some shared concern about a new convert named..let's call her Nadine as she does not seem as connected like she used to be. Emilia shared some things that were frustrating her which, led her to tears. Areli offered words of encouragement, actually it seemed as if Areli was really speaking some profound words from her heart to Emilia's heart. During this exchange Megan consoled Emilia (by rubbing her back) but listened intently while the two ladies had a discussion. I guessed that the reason Megan remained quiet was because Megan wants to get the Peruvian members to be able to run meetings and bible studies when she is not there.

I did not know exactly what was exchanged between Emilia and Areli at the time however the vibe I felt and the non-verbal as well as verbal inclinations that I was able to observe seemed very straight forward and vulnerable. From what I gathered it seemed as if Emilia had some questions that are being left unanswered, and that it may be causing feelings of loneliness. As we sat in the cafe, I thought how wonderful it was to see women gather together in a public space and have enough trust and comfort to share their hearts with one another. How refreshing!!!! It is a pattern that keeps coming up while I am here. Also who gets up on a Saturday morning to intentionally share their lives with one another? And if you know them in the United states let me know. As I sat there listening to Emilia, I yearned to understand all that she was saying so that I can communicate with her, encourage her and share our lives together. After that particular discussion, Megan and Areli prayed over Emilia and Nadine.

After the prayer they were about to go into the study of a Purpose Driven Life in Espanol, but Megan remembered a scripture she wanted to share with the group. From what I gathered Megan shared that some Christians believe they will and should only receive the good things not realizing that becoming a Christian does not mean that there will be no stress or problems but it's by living a Christian life that those problems will produce good fruits later. They read 2 Corinthians 1:9-11 and Mark 10:28-31 which refers to going through tough times so that we learn to not rely on our selves but on God; and how the disciples sacrificed ALL for Christ. Megan reminded the ladies that the perception of Christianity today is not right (I agree, it seems that some Christian do not know what it means to be a Christian and that there are people in the world that do not understand what real Christianity is about).

After that part of the conversation was over, Megan invited that ladies to a pajama party which they were really excited about and then we talked about the interns experience when they went dancing.

Random side note: I realize I understand Spanish better when people are speaking to one another and not directly to me. I do not know what that is about.

As Megan and I walked back to her house, I asked her if what I thought I comprehended was correct and she generally said I got the gist of it. She then began speaking of her time with the members of the church and I was able to see her heart and passion for what she is doing. Her idea of mission work, correct me if I am wrong Megan, is something that should be integrated in life and that all people are called to be missionaries (based on one's definition of being a missionary).

Due to me filling in the rest in my journal two weeks later I forgot the rest of what I thought and experienced. However to get a better understanding of Megan you should check out her blog: gregandmeg@blogspot.com If this is wrong I will provide a correct one.