If one were to ask another how I work/interact with people, depending on where they are from, their personal temperament and other factors, you would most likely get a variety of responses that will sound like the following: she is difficult to get along with, I do not understand her, she seems mean, Gerina is very honest, she is great at pushing one to be their best, I adore her, when you get a chance to know her heart, everything else makes sense. Although I know that I can be difficult to be around for some there is not much I have changed about who I am because the things that makes certain people uncomfortable are not really my issues it is there's. However the things I can control that I recognize as a problem I attempt to change.
One of the things is taking charge of situations and dominating which is easy because I have a strong personality. On this trip I have recognized strong personalities, insecurities and sensitivities so I told myself to put manager Gerina to bed and relax and go with the flow...well that can only last for a few weeks and that it did. Going along with the flow all the time to avoid tensions and hurt feelings will cause exactly that because when people make decisions that are not the best I get very annoyed and hyper critical which makes me a not so nice a person.
Therefore I prefer to work and do particular things alone (however that is not wise in this context nor in ministry). So what should I do? Compromise, and I am a fan of the theory of compromise however that does not always work. I realize that I am only good at working in groups when each person has their own thing to work on that assists to paint a larger picture. Or if I work alongside a person that is very logical, has a steady temperament and is very competent in their skills. This is important to me because these type of people I can trust and respect.
This trip is assisting me in realizing more things about myself which is important so when I am working alongside people I know what to adjust and what to share about how I work. On the Myers-Briggs Assessment I score as a Field Marshall and Producer a person that delegates and oversees. This trait of mine is considered masculine and manifests in other ways that causes tension with males especially in romantic relationships. In relationships it is important that mates are partners and work with one another. I am learning that I need a partner that is confident (not arrogant), intelligent, compassionate, understanding, logical and even tempered. A man that is not offended by my "me-ness".
I realize that I am speaking of relationships and that was not my point of this entry...oh well I am at that age.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Spanish and New Converts 6/21/13
Today I saw a quote that was posted by a friend "I am a perfectionist with a procrastination complex." When I read that quote it resonated with me because I know I can be a perfectionist and sometimes perfectionism takes a lot of work and time I then avoid it thus me becoming a procrastinator. Another aspect is that if I do not get things the way I want or it does not turn out the way I wish it to I then become apathetic. Would I then be an apatheticist? (lol I know this is not a real word.)
Any who when it comes to my learning of Spanish I am not able to get things right nor am I picking up on the language as quick as I think I should. It also does not help when I feel that I am getting mixed signals. Verbally I hear, "Learning a new language is like a baby learning how to speak, it takes time." However I receive through actions "You should be getting this quicker now." Due to the mixed signals I perceive to be receiving I push myself to a limit, get frustrated when it does not seem that there is much improvement and then become apathetic. #Pride #FearofFailure
As I reflect on these feelings I think about how I interact with those that are learning English or where English is not there first language and are still struggling. I would say that I am pretty patient however I will be more aware of the signals I send because the slightest hint of frustration or impatience can be very discouraging to people. I believe this same practice can be applied to new babes (converts) to Christ. As older or more seasoned Christians, we should be patient and not expect a 180 in a new convert from when they are baptized to a year.
Now do not get me wrong I know there should be some significant changes and attempts to purge from bad habits however it takes time and it is difficult. More than anything we should be supportive, encouraging and available to new converts. There are too many times when "church people" (which are different from Christians, but that's another post) have unrealistic expectations and push new converts to be a certain way. From what I have seen, heard this causes new converts to put on a good show while at church but they are suffering and more lost than ever because they want to share their struggles with people they can confide in but are afraid of being ostracized or being a disappointment. Therefore they play the Christian role at church but their lives are a mess and others that are not Christians see this dual lifestyle and think "what's the point?"
In conclusion, whether we are dealing with new babes in Christ, people learning a new language, culture or we are the ones that are learning there should be an amount of patience, forgiveness, grace, empathy and respect to get through the process. My Spanish experience related to new converts is quite a stretch but now as I am re-reflecting it helps me remember what I have learned and how I can apply that to different facets of my life.
Any who when it comes to my learning of Spanish I am not able to get things right nor am I picking up on the language as quick as I think I should. It also does not help when I feel that I am getting mixed signals. Verbally I hear, "Learning a new language is like a baby learning how to speak, it takes time." However I receive through actions "You should be getting this quicker now." Due to the mixed signals I perceive to be receiving I push myself to a limit, get frustrated when it does not seem that there is much improvement and then become apathetic. #Pride #FearofFailure
As I reflect on these feelings I think about how I interact with those that are learning English or where English is not there first language and are still struggling. I would say that I am pretty patient however I will be more aware of the signals I send because the slightest hint of frustration or impatience can be very discouraging to people. I believe this same practice can be applied to new babes (converts) to Christ. As older or more seasoned Christians, we should be patient and not expect a 180 in a new convert from when they are baptized to a year.
Now do not get me wrong I know there should be some significant changes and attempts to purge from bad habits however it takes time and it is difficult. More than anything we should be supportive, encouraging and available to new converts. There are too many times when "church people" (which are different from Christians, but that's another post) have unrealistic expectations and push new converts to be a certain way. From what I have seen, heard this causes new converts to put on a good show while at church but they are suffering and more lost than ever because they want to share their struggles with people they can confide in but are afraid of being ostracized or being a disappointment. Therefore they play the Christian role at church but their lives are a mess and others that are not Christians see this dual lifestyle and think "what's the point?"
In conclusion, whether we are dealing with new babes in Christ, people learning a new language, culture or we are the ones that are learning there should be an amount of patience, forgiveness, grace, empathy and respect to get through the process. My Spanish experience related to new converts is quite a stretch but now as I am re-reflecting it helps me remember what I have learned and how I can apply that to different facets of my life.
Reflection on Culture in my own Context 6/17/13
In culture class this particular Tuesday we discussed the importance of understanding culture, your culture and others within the context of missionary work. I began thinking about how there seems to be so much more effort and research done when it comes to cultural intelligence. Researchers and scholars from the US sees the importance and the energy that is needed when interacting with other cultures from other countries. However I see a lack of concern and energy when it comes to the understanding the variety of cultures that is within the USA. I find all too much that different cultures that are living in certain parts of the US try so hard to assimilate to the "dominant culture" without the general dominant culture attempting to understand, and live life with those that are different. It seems that the idea of missionary work is only when people from the US goes and helps poor people in need in other parts of the world. However, missionary work can be done anywhere and the same sensitivity should be applied.
I remember reading a missionary book and one of the statements that was made was if you have not been a part of doing missionary work where you live then you should reconsider doing missionary work or ask the question that I have asked myself and others, "Why is it easier to go to other places where the culture and the language is almost the complete opposite of yours and immerse onseself in that culture but when it comes with working within ones larger culture and working within the subcultures of that, there are excuses made? Is a possible answer that there is a potential fear of feeling guilty and taking on a higher sense of duty? Or it can be not wanting to sacrifice the sense of comfort in their own lives. Imagine having to restructure or changing ones perspective/personal viewpoint about how they see themselves and the world they live in; it can be scary because with knowledge and building relationships comes expectation and action.
There is such thing as being called to do traditional missions work in another country, and that should be taken very seriously however that does not mean that as Christians living where ever you live are off the hook for being a local missionary. There has been research on people that has a sincere passion for assisting those that lack resources, suffer injustice and oppression. The commonality is that most of these people come from lower middle and working class backgrounds and are mostly African Americans and Hispanic Americans.Now there are some Hispanic Americans and African Americans that are very successful that has no interest with "giving back" or rebuilding the communities that were not as fortunate as them.
WEB DeBois, who was an African American sociologist, historian, civil rights activist, Pan-Africanist, graduate from Harvard, author and editor,wrote about the "Talented Tenth" among African Americans. The talented tenth as I remember it, is that "the Best of the Black ethnicity may guide the Mass away from the contamination and death of the Worst, in their own and other races." In class there was also a discussion of collectivist societies, that with progression they begin to take on individualistic characteristics. I see this in the Black community after the 1920's especially once integration took place instead of the "best" pulling up those that were in the worst conditions you saw a divide. A division between the haves and the have not.
I must admit that I suffered and still suffer from wanting be viewed as separate from negative stereotypes. Now it is not that it is a problem from being raised to a way that does not fit with negative stereotypes or other stereotypes that is seen to be attached to the color of my skin. However it becomes a problem when it becomes extreme and manifests itself as condescending. I realized how bad my attitude was when I listened to white Texans talk about other ethnic groups and my own and realized how ugly and ignorant my thoughts were. The core of my being is not evil however my fear of being undervalued and lumped in with certain groups had me sounding like those that were ignorant and/or racist.
I constantly thank God for having real friends that will point out some of my unsavory characteristic traits. In this context, my friends Masci and Stefanie have pointed out things that I say or do that contradicts with who I should be as a Christian, the heart I have for people, and an example to others. Although I do not say these things in public settings it is the fact that I am saying it. It is very important to be self aware and I am working on that part of me. I am not as bad as I used to be however there is always room for improvement especially, since I have a passion to work with inner city youth. A part of my effectiveness is based on how I work on myself.
To close out my reflection on culture I will say that missionary work does not only mean someone that goes to another country into another culture to share Christ and assist in other efforts but it also a duty and responsibility that is shared by the body of Christ to be a missionary where they are currently living and take the time to get to build sincere relationships and understand the culture of those you minister to. Keep it real, be honest with yourself and in result you will be able to be honest with others.
Sunday 6/15/13
Today was celebration Sunday. Celebration Sunday is when most or all of the house congregations gather together and celebrate the wonderfulness of God. Due to Celebration Sunday falling on Father's Day and that there are members that live really far from where the meeting was, there were more Americans present than Peruvians. The similarities of these house congregations gathering together to worship like how we do in the states is a lot of singing, there is praying, scripture reading, and communion. The differences is that the following three things are integrated into worship service such as: children's worship service, lunch and sharing with the group what the Lord's Supper mean to them. It had a family feel to the service which I very much appreciated.
Later that Sunday night Megan suggested we began a group devotional/share time with those that lived in the McKinzie's household. Without sharing what was shared I appreciated how seemingly appropriate and sincere Greg and Megan were when they shared. I was especially surprised that Greg shared as much given his disposition that is obviously misunderstood. Greg does not do or say things just to say them (which I appreciate because you can almost always trust that he means what he says and does). The missionaries appear to be aware and be caring of the members in their church group.
Greg and Megan shared the frustration they feel at times based on their concern with the decisions their members make. They also shared the lessons they have learned and are learning as they continue to grow and live in Peru. I found share time to be insightful as well as free flowing because although each person shared it still was conversational and intentional. After this particular Sunday night there will be devo's added to share night and it will focus on the book of 1 Peter. Sunday nights may become very interesting....
Later that Sunday night Megan suggested we began a group devotional/share time with those that lived in the McKinzie's household. Without sharing what was shared I appreciated how seemingly appropriate and sincere Greg and Megan were when they shared. I was especially surprised that Greg shared as much given his disposition that is obviously misunderstood. Greg does not do or say things just to say them (which I appreciate because you can almost always trust that he means what he says and does). The missionaries appear to be aware and be caring of the members in their church group.
Greg and Megan shared the frustration they feel at times based on their concern with the decisions their members make. They also shared the lessons they have learned and are learning as they continue to grow and live in Peru. I found share time to be insightful as well as free flowing because although each person shared it still was conversational and intentional. After this particular Sunday night there will be devo's added to share night and it will focus on the book of 1 Peter. Sunday nights may become very interesting....
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